He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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