Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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