im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
