Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
