if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
