I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
