We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
