I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
