I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
