I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
