I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
