it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
