All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
