I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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