Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
