You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
