Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
