So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
