yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
