I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
