A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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