Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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