Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
