problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
