there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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