We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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