yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
