On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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