if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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