I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
