I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
