only if we run a train.
done.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
