Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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