I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
