a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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