Pappa wants mamma naked
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
