u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
