After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
