it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
