Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
