"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
