I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
