What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
