I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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