Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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