I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
