I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
