i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
