if you like me you must not know who I am
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
