You're my little dorito
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
