someone threw a dead crab at me
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
ttyl tear gas
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
