hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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