I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
we're so committed to being not committed
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
