Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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