He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
